Wassup guys ?? Think this blog is dead ?
If so, you guys are as much mistaken as the EDN executives who think of buying a car after wage revision.
The blog is back, like Jhootawala's new bike. Shining and making wierd sounds !
Lets see what has happened around
Traction Guru :
As a responsible and learned man, Guru has identified the weak links which may turn out disastrous in future life. He is putting might out doing Net Practice Night 8x7 to get his Hitler stand up and salute with pride. But the processor is running backwards touching a new low in the past week. Guru have found his Mukti from routine work by teasing his flatmates and slapping Mama'a boyfriend.
Jhootawala :
As surprise to a lot of people, Jhootawala started putting blood for the company. He made the life of millions of people miserable after adding their computers into the domain and screwing them by changing the system time into TST (Tanzanian Standard Time). After a brief stint of running to Dodbal town and back daily, Jhootawala finally settled down in the Great Enclave de Nandi along with a chinky bong and Sagar. He is planning to go Chirappunji in his bike next week offering support to "Make Puliogare National Food of India" campaign.
Mangal Pandey :
HE FELL
He flirted, updated status and chatted
HE FELL AGAIN
He flirted, updated status and chatted
AND HE FELL
----------------- " -----------------------
Moodilio here-ater to be referred as Ghajar(Carrot) Baba :
The unprecedented reputation of the great man have been put in question by some members of "Mein pehle se hi bada Chutiya Hoon" community. But the valour and fearsome Kharaab mood have put him back on track. He still manage to keep his cool in spite of several physically motivated attacks by Mama's boyfriend. The romeo inside Baba is as always looking for new Hunting grounds.
Sunshine :
The laughing icon is still laughing. Arre use koi control kar.. My goodness he is laughing again..
The bloody rich guy who received scholarship and appreciation from dignitaries all around is now running a side business by trying to fix the system issues of his senior colleagues.
BHAI :
eerh.. BHAI is doing good ! He still have all Leaves intact so that he can throw the Mass Casual Leave on the face of the management ( Blogger is an atheist.. he is not afraid of BHAI )
Mama's Boyfriend :
He became the chief dealer of pirated CD's inside the campus. After shifting the office to Smoking Zone, he made a point that world is a myth so are statements made by human beings. Now he is not afraid of birds, especially the ones which sing "kooo oooh ".
oops.. the blogger got some work.. The other interesting personalities like Encyclo, Schwarzy, NutWit, DKBose, Sagar and Chotte Nawab will be analyzed in the next session
Nobody Rest In Peace
The Judgement Day
June 26,2009
02:30 pm ( 6 weeks to judgement day)
Mail arrives in the campus batch inbox. It was a threat mail. The useless and jobless chaps claimed it is a hoax mail. Some went and confirmed it from the sender, Chini Kam. Exams on August 6th. Campus batch shouted in a deafening voice, “Who the hell cares!!!” And chimney company went to SZ. Testicles left to their panels. Salesmen and engineers to their hubs.
July 12, 2009
10:00 am ( 4 weeks to judgement day)
The letters for report submission reached the respective reporting officers. Campus batch cried for help. The left hand of all campus batch guys went dumb by ctrl V + ctrl C. Reports flowed through the LAN. BHAI had already left for another expedition after the report completion. He told the batch, “ Mein to ab nahi aane wala.. tum log sambhal lena”. Campus batch ignored the warning.
July 20, 2009
8:30 am (2 weeks to judgement day)
Sultan walks into the Testicular chamber. He saw some familiar ppts in a computer. Chotte nawab was having a fair analysis of what to prepare. Others told it’s a bad omen and walked away.
24 July, 2009
12:05 pm (12 days to judgement day)
Mangal Pandey is preparing to go to Meerut for one week. People asked about the awkward timing of his journey precariously close to the D-Day. He replied, “chintha mat kar. Mere ko tum logon par poora bharosa hain”.
26 July, 2009
11:45 am ( 10 days remaining)
Jhootawala comes back from the capital all set to be a network administrator. Sunshine prepares for another routine Parle-G factory visit to sell soap and shampoo. He told, “Selling items is more important than reading ppts”. Nawab laughed !
30 July, 2009
BHAI returns.
1 August, 2009
9:00 am (5 days remaining)
Sultan and King Bhoo starts the royal preparation. They ended up in banging the head on their tables saying making slides are any day better than reading them. Mr. Nutwit also procures valuable data from the Sub assembly heavy weights.
3 August, 2009
12:05 pm ( 3 days to go)
Finally the champion Kharabini spoke, “Saalon.. mere ko load aa raha hain.. padna hain”. This was the much awaited wake up call for the batch. An immediate meet-up was organized at the SZ barring all obstacles who were earlier settled at the place.
Process began.
1. Identify the ujalas
2. Determine internal andheras
3. Current status updating
4. Value addition by group preparation
5. Effective implementation of the road map for cheating
After the historic meeting, kharabini declared like Mother teresa, “ For those who are not in possession of anything, I will come forward as the back-up source”. Schwarzie took up the full responsibility of vision, mission and value statements.
5 August, 2009
12:00 noon (day before D-Day)
Serious preps have started. Everyone is puking definitions all around after lunch. Groupe de kamakhya and Chandra layout go further by means of team work. The single largest contribution was made by the Stock Broker by collecting shit in a 32 page file and distributing around.
Brave fucks started commenting, “ Dept test is all that matters. We don’t want to prepare stupid management stuff”. Sagar is still crying for PPTs to start the mugging up.
The D-Day
Campus batch in load. Best wishes flying in from different sides adds to the fury. They walk towards NEB 2nd floor to get their things chopped.
Campus batch got their pens. They got their answer sheets. They even got a new roll number. Ms Shaekspear took out her multi coloured pens, pencils and scale. They are in action. Like a hanuman who doesn’t know his strength without someone reminding, the campus batch went on fire.
They wrote. They copied. They cheated. They shouted answers. All like a true battle. But of course, a large portion of the freaks already had known their questions !
01:25 pm
People getting ready for their second phase of battle came to the familiar HRD room and occupied strategic positions. Sunshine being the play-maker in the centre portion. Nawab and Nutwit well placed on both flanks. Cuckoo bird and Barabaad, both potential candidates for topping the exams, occupied the forward positions. Mr. ChunMun was playing in a strategic position linking the forwards and defenders. Poor sultan was sent out of the ground to the pavilion, from where he began watching the various acitivities like a child watching monkeys in a zoo.
01:30 pm
The shot was fired and game began. To the surprise of the majority of campus batch, Chini Kam have not cheated. The question paper was declared to be answerable for everyone. But still doubts arose like was Fourier a mathematician or environmentalist, and did Algore had any famous forefathers. Sunshine’s words were taken into consideration whenever there was mismatch of theories.
03:30 pm
The corporate test started and campus batch showed their true colours. It was a demonstration of effective communication skills and team work. Like a formal group discussion, everyone’s points were heard with attention, and reached in a final conclusion for all 40 questions.
03:55 pm
With the happiness of the surety of becoming an engineer, the campus batch went to their addas.
04:45 pm
Moodilio discovers that his helmet is stolen.
The story ends here.. The rest is history.. Mangal gave, Big Bro gave, Sultan got, Sunshine got, Traction Guru at a tentative break-even (man-handled) and thus it goes on.
( PS : This blogging community strictly condemns theft and other kind of cheap activities which are listed in CDA Rule 5 )
The Monsoon Report
We will review factors like the upcoming Sucking ( absorption put in a different way) test and the Grande Interview is going to be touched. The title just accounts for the rains which have welcomed us to our tenure in BHEL one year back.
Let us do it in OJT report format
This blog “ Fake Campus Batch Guy” is done as per Dakshata module for the upliftment of the campus batch.
Prepared by
FakeGuy
Staff Number : 3833xxx
Anonymous dept
Under the guidance of
Review Committee
Fake campus batch guy blog
Abstract :
The various events involving Groupe de kamakhya (Adding Mangal), Groupe de Chandra Layout ( with moodilio) , Groupe de Lonerangers ( Jhootawala is added to this group) is briefly touched upon. On this occasion of the completion of the great ET period, we’d like to thank all who’ve made our lives miserable for the past one year ( especially Macho Man & the community of Auto drivers in Bangalore)
Chapter 1 | BHEL Overview:
What the ! Look in your reports bitches.
Chapter 2 | BHEL-EDN Overview:
Goto (BHEL Overview) ; // primitive C coding
Chapter 3 | Life :
The past few months have seen the campus batch dispersing in different directions and coming together as a team as a result of Customer Fuck Us Programme.
All hail BHAI ! This person of immense potential had just came back from a month long absence in the site + CF + home. But apparently the Kamakhya captain’s life is not that easy. The captain got furious as his boss dint get a promotion and thrashed a few items including Schwarzie’s dumbbells. Shortly the decision to send him outside Bangalore followed.. And groupe de kamakhya says, “BHAI .. we miss you”.
Changes in Moodilio : People from various depts have reported the drastic change in the character of Kharabini. It has been however proved that Kharabini have attended a 1-week training programme in ChakkaYoga and became Sri Sri Mahayogi Homibaba. Moodilio has thereby found a new way to control his temper and make his mood not Kharaab, or thus he says. And then Moodilio went to MG Road and he saw chicks. He told, “what is so special? “. Sunshine tried to make him bakra. Moodilio replied, “ Sab Kuch Maya Hai”. And then the tragedy happened. Mama’s boyfriend raped Moodilio( For evidence watch the exclusive video in Nutwit mobile). This was claimed to be a celebration of the amendment of Article 377 but the result was.. Mood Kharaab ho gaya. Became so Kharaab that he started smuggling electronic devices inside the campus.
Aur Jhootawala ko kya ho gaya. After the unfortunate bike incident he moved to the hi-tech city of Dodbal-town. The first time experience of North India was awesome in many respects. It started with he putting his hand inside his pant zip for taking money and ended with a Sardar making him bakra a taxi (Sagar and Sultan were also bakras in this incident). The traction guru is still on the rounds in and out of girls hostel searching for a good match. He has decided to spend Rs. 1000/- next time to get a better pic for uploading inside bharat matrimony. Sultan is still dreaming that he will get 44k salary and 85k arrears.
Chhotte Nawab has already started the preps for the Test. And look who is trying to catch up. Sagar and Sunshine. Mr. Sunshine after making a lot of fuzz about the work has managed to submit a spiral binded colour print-out of a report which will be further kept in TIC as a reference manual. And since you can’t take off a satellite without Sagar’s signature he is also proving his worth. Kudos campus batch ! Big Bro & Nutwit are expected to pick up momentum in a short while.
Chapter 4 | Death :
This chapter is dedicated to the campus batch guys who are already dead due the tiresome routine job. Deaths can be classified as
1. Death due to boredom
2. Death by hearing stories from boss
3. Death due to your boss’s death
4. Death due to Chayapathi’s mails
5. Death by solving Mama’s boyfriend puzzles
6. And other miscellaneous deaths
Conclusion :
We have got tremendous amount of experience in the past one year. We would be using all that for doing more bak-chodi in the coming year !
The fall of “La Groupe de DevegowdaPetrolBunk”
After a fanatic stay at the helm of department of frolic and Bakar the most inevitable has finally happened. In a very unceremonious way the group has vanished into thin air. The elements of the group however survived the trauma courtesy the stronghold of other groups but the loss incurred is simply immeasurable.
The root of break-up is the very untoward incident that happened to mama’s boy and his boy friend. The incident turned the way both used their mind and soul. The group could not escape the fall-out of the incident and suddenly the lovely but not so innocent MAMA’s boy bid adieu to group in a very happy mood.
The group resumed their activities unwary of the coming surprise which they got soon. The our own Intel make Bruce lee made it to the pinnacle of intelligence and survived through the load of monetary Evils to register himself among the best. Bruce lee thus left the group but not before throwing a magnificent murga-cum-daru party which made the GUYS feels like old days.
The surviving guys however could now felt ECHO of their own voices in those empty rooms which used to be stage of their fantasies. The pain of loneliness as well as price of it kept increasing and in a uncalculated way the guys declared the group broken and went their ways.
As per the sources Mr. MODOLINI KHARABINI has found shelter in the room of very rigid Mr. NUTWIT and MANGAL PANDEY has landed his one step into the beautiful house of KAMAKHYA group but yet unaware where his second step would be. The only other guy Mr. LALJHOOTAWALA (last found holding his loose motions in a train) is missing.
The GUYS however are undeterred as a whole and are still holding their flag very high under the obvious-leadership.
THE (UN)OFFICIAL ADOPTION
When Mama's boy left for The spelling error PEM, he might have never bothered about his old hostel roomie cum old schoolmate.
He had also done the same to him when he left him at the Red Mountain to go to bell the RAT hunter so called 'MEOW'
When the Grand Naming was done, Mama's made it to the list of buggers but his friend was jus an add-on as Mama's boy-friend!
Because he was a campus guy by birth but non-campus by induction. But then the campus wallah thinks it would be unfair to exclude him. After an intense brainstorming at the SZ, post the election result hungama, he was (un)officially adopted as the son who ran away and came home and so christened as THE PRODIGAL SON.
The Jinx of 8 o'clock
We, the campus batch, often known for the laziness which have been injected into the blood on a constant dose for the 4 yrs in college, prefer to live on the edge and take a few risks. As a result, the company machine records almost 90% of the in-punches of campus batch in the final few minutes. But this blog is not about giving a database of when do the buggers come in.. Its all about how they come in :)
We shall start with the worst gang of 'em all. Obviously Groupe de Devegowda. Unfortunately, 3 bikes have their say at the house which often have to run breaking traffic rules and red signals. But will they be able to get over the Jinx? Nah.. Big guy jhootawala has taken all hearts when he punched in sharp at 8:36, after a possible adjustment of hair and looking for the big cars lying around and dusting of his red chappels, with a false thought that 8:36 is the final minute you can punch-in. The statement made by Jhootawala forced everyone to give the honour of most un-attentive guy in the CIT exclusively for him. The very action did cost Jhootawala a full CL as it happened on a Saturday which adds up to the fun part.
Coming to the italian Kharabini, the matters are even more aggressive. This very person who is highly concerned about using all his possible punch-in/out benefits at the earliest would have drained out everything in the first 2-3 days. And after that he thinks, reaches in conclusions and then often realize that it was a mistake and thereby his mood gets kharab. Mr. Moodilio has declared in his annual statement that he has got more half CLs than anyone else in the community due to absurd reasons and is claiming for a compensation.
And the record for the maximum number of in-punches at exact 8:00 goes to the very brave and daring Bruce Lee 8082 who is often slow in responding to his alarm or Mangal/Jhootawala's calls. Coming to the bigger lot of Groupe de Kamakya, it is incredible. They despise two-wheeler riding for safety reasons and usually go for a 3-wheeler mode of transportation. Here too BHAI comes into play. After a thorough fish-bone analysis, he found out that non-electronic meter wala auto's CHEAT ! SO whether half CL or not, his decency and straight forwardness never allows him to get in old style autos, which have often landed them in trouble. Mr. Slimbeauty who is diet conscious will be often taking his 'Farex' at 7:45 which forces this group to take risks. Their brave attempts to get 5 buggers in a single auto and at slopes Traction Guru pushing the vehicle has to be specially mentioned. Such is the dedication and commitment of the members of this group to break the jinx of 8:00.
The mission : 2 late-in-punches is being strongly pushed by the campus batch. This would in-turn reduce the tension by 50% and increase the life expectancy of the bike-riding bunch.
Who is the fake campus batch guy ?
Suspect 1 : Mr. Nutwit
Reasons : the blogger is impulsive and good at throwing punch lines. His uncharacteristic humour and lack of consideration of the humanity. Probably being the captain of the cricket team might have given him such a confidence that he can fool others
Suspect 2: Sagar alias Jacky
Reasons : This particular individual is seen in Jhootawala's house for the past few days more frequently from where he might be getting the information about the batch with such credibility. In spite of being put up in the ESD, he is desperate to create his own fan-fare in the EDN.
Suspect 3: slim-beauty Sunshine
Reasons : Mr. Sunshine's life isnt particularly shining that well because of the frequent journeys to the raw interiors of Indian subcontinent. Moreover he is constantly bombarded with a massive amount of data on a daily basis. Probably he wants to to distribute the l**d and have a sadistic fun with that effort
Suspect 4: Lal Jhootawala
Reasons : A highly probable candidate who have been in a killer mood ever since he lost 46 counter strikes games in a row to a primary school student in his college days. Only person to stand upto BHAI and speak his heart out. After getting a transfer to his preferred dept. he is too desperate to make others feel that their lives are miserable
Suspect 5: Mangal Pandey
Reasons : The timing of the site launch and its co-incidence with his birthday points in this direction. This might be an attempt to have a sentimental feeling from others to spare him from severe blows on his birthday. The wide knowledge about the different aspects of the batch and temptation to come into the sight may have forced this individual for such an activity
Suspect 6:Mr. Light renamed as Encyclo
Reasons : He knows every damn thing in this world, even if he is sitting in a toilet in Manali
The other creatures namely Lee 8082, Traction guru, BigB, Schwarzie and Appam Sultan seems to be innocent creatures who are too busy earning their livelihood without any false thought.
Leaving open for the people to guess who is the blogger..
As far as KalaBandhar is concerned, his/her name can be changed to Bogwaash(Bakwaas ; courtesy: Lee 8082)